Happy June everyone—it’s Pride Month. This means that gays and queers and transfolx are coming together to recall our history and, well, to celebrate ourselves!
We understand that as an ally, you might not understand everything you see or experience at Pride this month, but we ask that you show respect regardless. After all, you don’t need to know all about cars to understand the basic rules of the road.
Pride is our home
Many of us have had to survive rejection from our own bio families. We have experienced discrimination in our homes, in the workplace, and even on the streets by strangers. Some of us have even experienced serious violence.
Because of this, we look at Pride like our home, a safe space where we can be ourselves. We would like to invite you in as a guest, but only if you can respect our house rules! Here are some things we want you to know.
Consent is sexy
It is okay to take photos of us, pose with us, and celebrate us as long as you ask for permission first! You wouldn’t walk into a stranger’s house and start snapping photos of them for your Instagram feed. If you see someone on the street that catches your fancy, be sure to say hi and ask if it’s okay to take their photo before snapping away.
I know we look especially yummy, but Gay Pride isn’t an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Yes, we get silly, and at pride parades, we are known for getting pretty rowdy too, but remember that dressing or acting provocatively is not the same as giving consent to sexual advances.
You might be hot and we might be gay, but that does NOT mean we want to be sexual with you.
Stereotypes may lead us to believe that all queers are hypersexual, sex-positive, and slutty, but this just isn’t the case. There are many asexual, demisexual, and monogamous queers out there. Maybe you have been drinking liquid courage all day and have decided you want to try making out with someone of the same gender as you. Cool! Awesome! We are all for it as long as you use your words and be respectful. While there are queer people out there who might be into your trying something new, there are just as many people out there that would rather not. Just like you would with a straight person, ask us how we feel before assuming anything.
Do a little bit of homework on PC language
We get it, you may not understand the differences between someone who dressed in drag and someone who is trans, but we ask that you do some homework so that, at a minimum, you avoid using offensive terminology. Certain terms and phrases that may have been politically correct at one point may not be today. Some terms are okay for a queer person to call themselves but would be considered insulting when someone else uses those descriptors for them.
Of course, everyone has their own preferences when it comes to language and it is always okay to ask someone their pronouns. (People generally will not be offended by this, because it shows you want to be respectful!) Check out a site like GLAAD.org to learn more about using inclusive and PC language.
Remember that we love you and are grateful for you!
You don’t need to fall anywhere under the queer or gay umbrella for us to love you. We value your support and are lucky to have straight allies in our community. The world needs more people in the world just like you.
Thank you for showing up for us, fighting the good fight, and for showing your friends and family that you believe in them.
